WRITING ON THE WALLS

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.-------Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it’s "Hi, how are you?" -------Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. -----Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N. Carolina

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. -------Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

Express Lane: Five beers or less.------Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's

You're too good for him.----Sign over mirror Women's room, Ed Debevics

No wonder you always go home alone.-----Sign over mirror in Men's room, Ed Debevic's

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. -------Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Bush in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington. -------Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away.-------Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. -------Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. -------Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. -------Men's restroom, Lynagh's