15 Pet Peeves

1) Lighting guys
2) Two minute set changes
3) 200 Volts
4) Elevators or stairs load-ins
5) 18 acts, 30 timbales, 12 hours
6) Volunteer stage hands
7) People who sit in front of the PA and then complain that it's too loud
8) Sound companies that don't zero out the console before you use it and still has the tape from the last show on your inputs
9) Companies that say, "Oh yeah, we have a 40-channel console.", and when you show up, it's two 20-channel consoles slaved together
10) From the sound company, "We've got all the best stuff! I don't know why it sounds like this... it always sounds great to me!"
11) Mixing monitors from FOH
12) System engineers that try to "help" you mix the show
13) Companies that bring out inadequate gear because they bid too low to get the gig
14) Mix positions in stupid locations
15) Being short of channels because the headliner won't let you use them and there's no additional console for the opening act.



12 Stupid Sayings From The Audience

1) "What would happen if I did this?" (With simulation of twisting knobs on console)
2) "That would look great in my living room!"
3) "Do you know what ALL those knobs do?"
4) "Are you the DJ"?
5) "Where is the talent knob?"
6) "Can I keep my coat back there?"
7) "I can't hear the vocals." (From the people in front of the stage)
8) "Do you get to the meet the band?"
9) "What does THIS do?"... as the audience member leans over the board
10) "Can't you count any higher than two?"
11) "What would you do if I touched this?"
12) "It's too loud!" (While sitting in front of the PA)

Famous Last Words

1) "Oh, you mean you got THAT rider?"
2) "You're at the wrong stage" (Said by the promoter after the entire system is set up.)
3) "Oh sure, you'll get T-shirts at the end of the gig."
4) "Of course the monitors sound just like the house mix."
5) "I'll fix it before the next gig."


More Pet Peeves and Hates

Managers who promise you mega levels of hospitality that never arrives - and then pay you with a dud cheque.

A drummer for the support act who comes up the stage after the kit already been miked and says: "oh yeah, I'm left handed!"

Members of the audience who pick a really busy time to share with you their fascinating experiences of sound mixing.

People who have nothing to do with the band or crew, but ask for your advice - and once they get it, start the reply, "Yeh but..."

A band yelling at you, the FOH mixer for monitor adjustments, while you're standing next to them.

Bands who can't play in time but insist on doubling half the backing track anyway.

Bands that insist you use their favourite mic/effects unit/DI box, even though it a piece of crap.

Charity gigs organised by well-intentioned people who forget little things like confirming the staging.

Support acts who think the route to stardom is slagging you off in front of the audience.

Radio mics that are "just as good" as the leading brand alternative.
Unfamiliar desks where the colour scheme was chosen by an interior designer in a very a very well lit room.

Sax players who bring their own mic, stick it half way down the bell and expect you to handle the feedback.

Band managers who hire the cheapest possible rig and then slag you for not being louder than the house disco.

Vocalists (usually) who do something totally unexpected - dive into the audience, pull out a harmonica, mike up the nearest wedge - that kind of thing.

Club sound systems that have been installed by a very enthusiastic amateur, who isn't going to let you use it until every socket and cable has been described in detail.

Little inspectors with sound meters.

Bongo players - or someone similarly vital to the 11 piece line-up - who turn out to be more trouble than the rest of the band combined. "I can't hear the monitors", "I need to find more of these little tensioning bars", "The drummer is too loud", "I think it's a humidity problem", etc, etc.

Vocalists who perform with a VERY LOUD rock band but sing with a soft whispery voice about 3 feet from the mic and whine that they can't hear themselves.
 

Reality Check