'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.'
- Mark Viduka

'We lost because we didn't win.'
- Ronaldo

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.'
- Neville Southall

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.'
- Ronnie Whelan

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on
the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham.
My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out
there playing.'
- Ade Akinbiyi

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.'
- Stuart Pearce

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.'
- David Beckham

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.'
- Paul Gascoigne

 
'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
- Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
- Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.'
- Stan Collymore

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.'
- Ian Wright

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
- Ugo Ehiogu

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.'
- Jonathan Woodgate

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.'
- Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
- Ian Rush

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.'
- Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.'
- Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.'
- David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukranians will be more European.'
- Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.'
- Mitchell Thomas

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
- Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' -
- Johnny Giles

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'
- Les Ferdinand

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.'
- Richard Rufus

' There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.'
- Gary Lineker

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
- Thierry Henry

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
- Jason Kidd

"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
- Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert

"It's almost like we have ESPN."
- Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together.

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
- Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982.

"Tom."
- Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked how he pronounced his name, 1966.

"I'll always be Number 1 to myself."
- Moses Malone

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
- Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model

"I lost it in the sun!"
-Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodgers Pitcher, after fumbling a grounder..

"The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son
takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his
championship Little League game. He really showed me
something. Struck out three times and made an error that
lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car
and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud."
--Bob Uecker

"We were even beaten by a team of girls?" Mercy me...I can
not imagine a bunch of men losing to a team of girls. Women
yes, girls, no. I guess these "girls" were never told by
their mothers not to beat a man at any game as it would
hurt their fragile egos....LOL!
-Jane

"One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball."
-Don Carter, pro bowler

"Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it, shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink."
-Bob Hope

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or
apathy?' He said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care."

"When I was in prison I was wrapped up in all those deep books. That Tolstoy crap. People shouldn't read that stuff. When we read these books what purpose does it serve in this day and time?"
-Mike Tyson

"I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is that a big enough name for you ?'"
-Eddie Eichorn, White Sox owner

"I don't want to say the economy is bad, but by the time the quarter hit the ground it was only worth 80% of what it was when he first flipped it."
- 'Monday Night Football' analyst Dennis Miller, on President Bush's coin toss to begin the 2001 NFL season.

"The last time the Cubs won a World Series was in 1908. The last time they were in one was 1945. Hey, any team can have a bad century."
-Tom Trebelhorn, former Chicago Cubs manager, after a loss.

"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
-Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
-Ted Walsh - Horse racing commentator

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
-Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race in 1977

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God! What have I just said?!"
-US golf commentator

"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
-David Coleman equestrian commentator

As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was re- sponsible for returning equipment to the proper owners
at the end of the season. When I walked into the surgery
department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the
surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in
a waiting area.

"I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn't spell it."
-Boxer Rocky Graziano.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.y, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air even longer."
-David Acfield, announcer

"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle."
-Anonymous

"Arnie O'Palmer, usually a great putter, seems to be having trouble with his long putt. However he has no trouble dropping his shorts."
- Golf broadcaster on the air during a tournament

"I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It is called an eraser."
-Arnold Palmer

"The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name... and they say golf is a quiet game."
-Anonymous

My orgies are like the Special Olympics. Lot's of drooling, but everybody's a winner."
-Matt Weinhold

"You can make a lot of money in [golf]. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work."
-Lee Trevino

You know, we could make ice skating a lot more like hockey f we gave the skaters sticks, pucks, a uniform, put goals n the rink, and named it Hockey.
-Unknown