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  Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the

"in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a

bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have

been heard or reported:



After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express.

We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we

enjoyed taking you for a ride."



As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington

National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big

fella. WHOA!"



In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine

cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the

mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child

traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with

theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child

...pick your favorite.



Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken

clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive.

Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money,

more than Southwest Airlines."



"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the

event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore

and take them with our compliments."



"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your

belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly

among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or

spouses."



Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect

landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain

Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."



Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd

like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the

next time you get the urge to go blasting through the skies

in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us

here at US Airways."
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