Good, Bad and the Ugly

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.


Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.


Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross-dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you.


Good: Your son's finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you.


Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections.


Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She's a lawyer


Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK-47
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.


Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: As a hooker
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.


Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend.


Good: Your wife is pregnant
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.